Deeply Profound Thought

OK, everyone hold your breath for this one:

So yesterday, as I was going along with my day, thinking mind boggling and life changing thoughts; thoughts for which I someday (pretty soon, please God!) hope to get a really advanced degree which will allow me to put on some extra pretenses, and go around with my head held high, with the all knowing look of someone who knows more that you do (ok, I digress, but stick with me please), I had a revolutionary thought.

I spend more time with my colleagues at work/school than most married couples spend together (awake or asleep), everyday, every week. So under common law in some places, (The details of such laws currently elude me. If I am motivated later, maybe I will look it up.) we are (wait for this) MARRIED!

This is how I see it. These common law marriage laws indicate that if a couple (probably only applies to straights at this time, but last I checked, there aren’t any women in my lab so there!) lives together for more that three or it is seven years (doesn’t really matter, we can work to modify these laws later), they are technically married. And so since I spend so much time with these guys here at work, I am married to each one of them.

So this is the plan. There is nothing like common law divorce. I know. Apparently, I can’t simply just stay away from work for a couple of years and claim divorce rights. Who would have thought! But that little detail won't stop on my way to achieving greatness. I am going to go out and get a divorce (the real way) from all of these guys. One after the other, all ten of them, so I can claim alimony from each of them. You may wonder, why all ten of them? I will enlighten you (Oh you non-deeply profound thoughts thinking person). They are graduate students, that is why. I will need the support from all ten of them if I can achieve the oh so lavish lifestyle I am envisioning right afterwards.

And that little detail of how I may have committed polyandry? Yes, I did look into that. Since it was through no fault of mine that I was put into this situation, of being forced to marry (I mean work) with these guys, I am OK. I am actually also looking into suing my boss for forceful arranged polyandry. That should add nicely to the treasure trove.

Now why no one ever thought of this wonderful idea is beyond me. Must be the same people who haven't thought of our pets owning their own pets or chocolate cover vegetables.

OK, you can let your breath out now. And come out celebrate with me in anticipation of all the riches I will make from my divorce settlements. Go ahead, have a drink on me. I can afford it (in the near future that is). Yay!

Coming up: Your (highly sporadic) regularly scheduled blogging (involving no such Deeply Profound Thoughts).