I am still recounting my adventures during my friends’ Big Fat Gay Quaker Wedding. In part one, I talked about events leading to the wedding day. In part two, I share random bits about setting up and tearing down. In part 3, I talk about the actual ceremony and the reception and finally, here I will share some general reflections on the entire weekend.
Reflections on the weekend
Quaker Weddings If I get married someday, and I have to have a wedding, I want a Quaker wedding. I am not a Quaker, although I do agree with and respect all of the important tenets Quakers hold. Truthfully, at this point, if I could have a Quaker meeting that was more programmed (i.e. there was more beside the hour of silent worship with interspersed revelations (?) from people during their weekly meetings), I would probably be a Quaker. I love the idea of the weekly hour of silence. In a world of too busy (for nothing) people, I can well appreciate the need to stop, and be silent, and simply be, to think/reflect or commune with the spirit or a higher being (which ever one it is you believe in). I do however still like (and need) that aspect of worship that involves singing hymns and songs (and clapping and dancing) with other believers, and having the opportunity to hear someone share on some topic/scripture (even if I don’t always (usually) agree with everything they say). But I still wish I could have a Quaker wedding. Because this wedding was simply the most personal, and inclusive (in a lot of ways) and heart warming experience I have ever had at a wedding.
Community To corrupt an old saying, “It takes an entire community to pull off a great wedding.” I know very well that this wedding was such a remarkable success because of all the people who came together to pull it through. Every so often, I get really frustrated with people, and friends, and family and relationships in general. In these times, I have often wondered (aloud sometimes) what life would be without such encumbrances as relationships and people. In such times, I have often felt that life would be so much simpler if I lived in it by myself, or at least I didn’t have any personal connections with anyone else. But this weekend, I saw people come together. I worked with people who are friends and strangers to pull off this wedding. As I strengthened old friendships, and formed new relationships and most importantly when I made wonderful new memories involving these old and new friends, I rethought the importance of relationships. I remembered that all the negatives-arguments and disagreements and bickering do not take away from the strengths of friendships – unwavering support and love and affection and hugs and laughter and even the tears. I really love my friends and wouldn’t give them up for anything.